Wait, why don't I have a boyfriend?

“God, I can’t beleive you’re being such a diva...

Tue, 30 Aug 2011 14:07:29 -0400

“God, I can’t beleive you’re being such a diva about me dressing like a sugar glider for your wedding”

-Strunks, on wanting to choose her maid of honor wedding attire

LDT

Tue, 23 Aug 2011 16:02:15 -0400

strunks: ok so
its 355.....
FUCK OFF 355
punks: hahahahahaha
fuck off "light days tampons"
strunks: oh srsly
you have no point, ldt
punks: none at all
i'd like to meet a girl who uses them
so i can slap her
and tell her to cut the shit
strunks: me too
i like my tampons to feel like they are fisting me

"I wouldn’t call myself a “connosseur” so much as an “alcoholic"

Fri, 19 Aug 2011 14:34:44 -0400

“I wouldn’t call myself a “connosseur” so much as an “alcoholic””

- strunks on wine

Punks: i sat in my bed from 630 till i fell sleep at 1230

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 16:57:39 -0400

Punks: i sat in my bed from 630 till i fell sleep at 1230
i had some AloneWine
and some AlonePizza
and some AloneRanch
and i watched an AloneMovie
that was terrifying
but i still jerked off to it

job dhab

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 15:19:00 -0400

strunks: "what is the cloud?" "whats a browser?" "what is a server?"
strunks: all these questions were just asked to me by a woman on the phone
punks: EW
punks: did you hang up
strunks: i pantomined shooting myself 9 times, hung myself once, and ended by sliding down out of my chair onto the floor when I then fired off two more rounds into my open mouth
punks: that is the best response, short of it not being a pantomime, but being real

Punks & Strunks rough song list for their upcoming album: Hard dicks, Broken balls

Wed, 17 Aug 2011 15:15:16 -0400

1. I cum money (“oh ya lost a dolla?/check my dick/fuck the lost and found”)

2. Dick lift-off ( “i need dick lift off/ fuckin rocket ship/ imma gone cum so hard/ya fuckin tooth will chip”)

3. Cock aerobics (“when I work out wit cha/ im a lose and not gaina’/dont need a fucking gym/cuz ya cock’s my personal trainer”)

4. Dick Bedazzler (“I like to get rhine-STONED with my hommies/cuz we so tight/ now my dick shines like a disco ball/when it hits the light”

5. Pedo-Bear that Ho (“dont give a fuck if ya nine/ill do time for my crime/ imma tag ya/then garbage bag ya”)

"Well i’m gonna go piss out my ass, get on the train maybe buy some 30s of mountain dew see ya..."

Thu, 11 Aug 2011 17:00:05 -0400

“Well i’m gonna go piss out my ass, get on the train
maybe buy some 30s of mountain dew
see ya later”

- punks bids strunks a fond goodbye on gchat

(Note: Lil Wayne has not been made aware that this is his next...

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 20:36:43 -0400

[Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

(Note: Lil Wayne has not been made aware that this is his next hit. Our people are currently in talks with his people.)

Punks&Strunks do a dramatic reading of Lil Wayne’s...

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 20:34:15 -0400

[Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

Punks&Strunks do a dramatic reading of Lil Wayne’s upcoming hit “I cum money”, written by Punks&Strunks

Nahp Slahp!

Wed, 27 Jul 2011 20:32:30 -0400

[Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

Nahp Slahp!

strunks attempts to sext punks' bf with a hot accent;fails

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 14:21:18 -0400

strunks: ah waht a nahked pac-ture ah yah
Hunk: no
strunks: im a spagatta nadle
Hunk: smooth
strunks:fahck! shaht!
Hunk: no
strunks: i wahnt a pakture
strunks: thas ahs fahcked ahp
Hunk:until you play fair, no soup for you
strunks:i whant tha sap!
strunks:gahv me tha sap o alse!!!!!
Hunk:or else what
strunks:i lahk mah sap ta ba hat and I lahk mah sap ta ba sahved ta ma whan ah ahsk fa aht!
Hunk: ya no

Creepy Uncle Jerry stikes again… *This post is PedoBear...

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 09:12:41 -0400

Creepy Uncle Jerry stikes again…

*This post is PedoBear Approved

"i was formulating my to-do list in my head first was to buy a bottle of wine and then i thought,..."

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 16:34:29 -0400

“i was formulating my to-do list in my head
first was to buy a bottle of wine
and then i thought, will i cry tonight, or masturbate
and then it came to me
one of the great things about Growing Up, is that you no longer have to choose “cry” or “masturbate”
because you can do both”

- punks

Hymee Alberto & Uncle Jerry have a normal, appropriate...

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 14:09:46 -0400

Hymee Alberto & Uncle Jerry have a normal, appropriate conversation while checked into a playground

Why do older men give the best oral?

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 12:35:34 -0400

Perhaps it is because they feel they must make up for being older. Because really, how often do younger guys give oral at all, nevermind if it is “good” or “bad”. A few times in the beginning and then they forget to give at all. Blow job city or you DHAB.

Ask us, and we just might tell you something useful.

Photo

Tue, 12 Jul 2011 14:57:07 -0400

"my boss asked me what i was doing so i said “fuck off im writing lil’ wayne’s..."

Wed, 06 Jul 2011 17:55:37 -0400

“my boss asked me what i was doing so i said “fuck off im writing lil’ wayne’s upcoming hit ‘i cum money’””

- strunks

Punks&Strunks announce their prototype for a...

Wed, 06 Jul 2011 12:01:09 -0400

Punks&Strunks announce their prototype for a batman-symbol-esque light symbol which will allow them to call to eachother in hours of need

"TPD: stands for Total Poop Disappointment. Please also see: Opposite of TSR"

Tue, 05 Jul 2011 13:13:25 -0400

“TPD: stands for Total Poop Disappointment. Please also see: Opposite of TSR”

"Boners Without Boundaries: A show where we travel the world finding awesome things that give us..."

Thu, 30 Jun 2011 12:03:06 -0400

“Boners Without Boundaries: A show where we travel the world finding awesome things that give us erections”

- Punks & Strunks tv programming, coming soon