April 2011
41 posts
“Punkss: there is a gorgeous, gorgeous swedish man here
my goodness
i want to...”
DHAB lingerie →
Punks & Strunks continue to play Words with...
Punks: your sister is murdering me at words with friends
i have had almsot all vowels every single turn
Strunks: dude she's really good
it's fucking stupid how good she is
she just leanred how to play yesterday
for some reason i suck at this game so incredibly heard
Strunks: i'm good when i have good effing letters
right now with parker ive managed to use up all my vowels but one
i have KRIQVST
Strunks: omg
wait isn't that a word
i thought that was what you called it when you eat a quiche while a russian man eats you out
am i wrong about that?
“the only safe place to hide something is your rectum”
– the dhab golden rule
#pillowembroidery
“a common dream for me is that i have a baby but then don’t love it....”
– but wait why don’t i have a boyfriend?
“my kryptonite with words with friends is that I’d rather play something...”
– strunks’ WWF strategy
“I would rather have lobstertube.com forcibly taken from me for 1 week than not...”
– strunks
“anytime someone sends me a picture of their new baby, my first reaction is...”
– strunks loves babies
“i think fbook just blocked us from adding friends because i friended a macaroni...”
– strunks wins at facebook
“i have this new thing at work where when im on the phone with an asshole, i...”
– strunks likes her job
“sometimes I wait until Bob has to pee, and then i bust in the bathroom, kick...”
– strunks
Easter Sunday Meditations with Punks & Strunks
As Easter Sunday draws near, Punks & Strunks would like to take this time to reflect on all the awesome Easter-themed sex moves that they enjoy doing to men.
The Easter Sunday- when you are giving him a bj and he’s about to cum and you wrap a length of barbed wire around his dick just as he comes (this is a clever play on the Jesus’s crown of thorns/rising from the grave theme)...
Plushies DHAB
Punks: did you know
that the act of partaking in sexual activities with stuffed animals or someone dressed as a stuffed animal is calling YIFFING
……
your lack of interest in this is upsetting to me
Strunks: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
oh i don’t have a lack of interest
it’s just that my screen is in view of people and I’m trying to google plushies and yiffing without anyone seeing
Punks: HAHAH
wikipedia does a good job
and wikipedia usually looks discreet enough
Strunks: dude
i want to yiff
Punks: me too
i want to fuck a dude wearing a zebra costume
dhab?
Strunks: i want to watch you fuck a dude wearing a zebra costume while I’m dressed like a parrot eating sunflower seeds
wofyd
also see - dhab
Punks: i decide win
for sure
Strunks: hmm ok gotcha
Punks: ok let’s play a gamne
Strunks: yes
Punks: if you were a plushie
Strunks: ok
Punks: what’s the number one animal you’d want to dress as
Strunks: baboon
wofyd
also see - dhab
you?
btw the baboon with like the huge red ass
Punks: thank you for clearing that up
I’d like to be a panda
Strunks: omg
panda would be so hot
the potential there is epic
Punks: the things i could do with bamboo....
Strunks: exactly
That’s exactly what i was thinking
is a panda a marsupial?
i think it is
i think you’ve got a fucking pouch man
jesus
Punks: is that relevant?
Strunks: I’m hot right now for this
Punks: oh ok
it is Relevant
it’s Very Relevant
Strunks: oh! SR!
Punks: if there is a pouch
Strunks: there is a pouch
and it’s Incredibly Relevant
Punks: bc i could put booze in my pouch
Strunks: or other things....
“i was too tired to masturbate AND make a sandwich last night. I went with the...”
– Punks
gmb
strunks: whatcha doin?
chunks: nothing
chunks: John just left for work and I'm telling the puppies what a shitty day we're going to have together
“My period is syncing up with my daddy issues.”
– (via kellyoxford)
“i put a lot of personality into my blow jobs”
– so really, why DON’T i have a boyfriend??
So now you tell us:
Why don’t YOU want to have a baby?
“their kid is gonna look like the kind of thing you would make the sign of the...”
– Punks and Strunks are really excited to be moms one day….
GMB Glossary cont.
SSICD: (Soft Serve Ice Cream Dick) The opposite of the Diamond Boner, the SSICD occurs only in the worst and least arousing situations such as Monday morning, third wheel situations, life, etc.
ex) A girl just walked by me in an acid wash jean jacket with acid wash jeans and it gave me SSICD
TDAIWDD: (This Dick and I Would Do Damage) Generally followed by “right now”, this abbrev is...
trust
Punks: on a scale of one to ten, how much would you trust The Canadian Hostelling Association
Strunks: if i enjoyed having some eastern european guy cum onto the stumps where my arms and legs used to be....then i would say alot...i would trust them Alot
“i love chris brown! i dont care if he beats women!”
– Krunks, winning (and dhab’s official stance)
“My fantasy party costume is Emily Dickinson.”
– Punks
“getting onto a city bus goes against everything i stand for”
– punks has standards….with transportation options only
“im pretty proud that if you google “shitdick”, our blog comes up as...”
– Punks & Strunks experience success
“Your honor student used your dog to GMB”
– #dhabbumpersticker
“My boner is smarter than your honor student”
– #dhabbumpersticker
There's dhabbery afoot!
Punks: i dont understand...can you explain it in another, still awesome way?
Strunks: yes ok imagine a flaccid dick....thats my dick. Now picture a hand reaching over to the flaccid dick and jerking it off Vigorously.
Punks: ok im with you so far
Strunks: Ok. That hand...is the act of you logging into Kyle's email and changing his password. Now...watch how the boner grows
Punks: It's hard
Strunks: It's Very hard
Punks: Ok now I understand
“Thou hast caused mine boner to grow!”
– Old English interpretation of GMB
“That just GMBTDBS*”
– *grew my boner to diamond boner status
“I need a new apartment, a new job, and a new man. It is my intention to find all...”
– Punks, DHAB for life.
GMB: Extended usage
It is important to note that GMB (Grow my boner) can also be used in command form.
Ex) “GMB!” she shouted at her friend.
…………………………………………………………………..
Additionally, the opposite of GMB is DNGMB (Does Not grow my boner), the more serious...
Dhab Glossary Addendum
GMB: (grows/grew/grow my boner) This abbrev is used when something that causes your boner to get hard and ‘grow’ considerably happens. Ex) The way you cut that car off back there really GMB
GYB?: (grows/grew/grow your boner) This is the question form of GMB. It is polite to always ask your companion if a certain scenario has grown their boner.
Diamond boner: (noun) This is what you...
a classic punks&strunks convo
Strunks: do you want to play a game with me called "Truth.....OR BRICK!!!"
Strunks: It's where you ask me a question. And I lie. And then you hit me full force in the face with a brick. Until I die.
Strunks: So you know. Just think about it. Let me know.
Punks: How soon can we play
Strunks: I assume asap
Punks: Ok get your ass to Quincy, I got bricks
“I gave my number to a mailman last night.”
– A new low.
Food: The Leading Cause of Not Having a Boyfriend
D$: either way... you lead, i'll follow
Punks: haha ok deal
im craving buffalo chicken nachos
D$: you read my mind.. sounds so good..
fucking nachos
Punks: fucking nachos
D$: that sounds good too
Punks: might burn....
D$: hopefully
1 tag
WatchWorking title: Learning how to dougie or how to not have a boyfriend. ever.