March 2011
47 posts
dhab
punks: wait
punks: so a lonely whale story made you horny?
strunks: yeah...
Heartless. Cunts.
Punks: also, can i dougie IN the museum tonight
Strunks: you are required by museum policy to dougie
and yeah, those are all valid reasons why we dhab
the pure pleasure we glean from others' sorrow
is probably another main reason
“the porn i watch can be so raunchy
that sometimes i dont know if im about to...”
– strunks
“my plans tonight are to go home
get into an outfit that is so unattractive that...”
– strunks
“also, i realized yesterday that i’ve banged men with the names of 2 out of...”
– Punks
“if i can turn ‘pedo-bear’ into a verb,
then i can turn my...”
“If your boss asks you a question and you don’t know the answer, pointing...”
“fuck me in the ass looks like the target deleted his facebook
that’s ok...”
“Guy asked me out on the T today
i said nah but for 10 bucks ill let you watch...”
– strunks
“In addition to a marinara sauce stain, today I’ve got toothpaste AND red...”
– Is Punks winning today?
“If by ‘ignorant’ you mean ‘informed’ then yes, 100%”
– Punks & Strunks take on ignorance and racism?
“i jerk off so much
that when i was in 7th grade
i burned out a back...”
– punks has apaprently dhabbed since a young age….
The is post is Pedo-Bear Approved
“this marinara sauce stain really ties my outfit together”
“when i laugh i sound like a herd of guinea pigs are auto-erotic asphyxiating”
– strunks
“i was relatively certain that if you turn the term pedo bear into a verb and...”
Strunks: can i pedo-bear his crutches?
pedo-bear is obv a verb right?
Punks: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Strunks: you can pedo-bear someone
“i like cous cous. i made it once for an international cooking extra credit...”
“do you love how i keep my twitter not private
cuz i know he can’t help...”
– is this why?
“want me to hack his facebook and make his profile a pic of 2 dudes banging...”
– strunks offers her services
Child-rearing DHAB
Strunks: will u be the godmother of my son, Delexo
Punks: YES
if by godmother
you mean
no religion involved
and i sleep with your son when he's of age
Strunks: and berate him for his dyselxia
which he doesn't have
like at all
but you're always like oh god Delexo you're so dyselexic
and he's just like wicked confused
all the time
“if i had kids, there would be three of them and theyd be named
nanners,
pink...”
“pornstars, food items and wild turkey whiskey”
– an exhaustive list of who strunks follows on twitter
“i have competlely hotboxed my office
with farts
if someone comes in here
they...”
“i couldnt go to the celtics game because i had to masturbate”
“when i lived in colorado we had no utensils at all so i used to pour milk just...”
– strunks is classy, dhabs
“cake petting zoo”
– Punk’s birthday is SO close…
Strunks' Music Reccomendations
Strunks: any song reccs for me?
Strunks: i have some for you :)
Strunks: 1. these girls by ryan adams
Strunks: 2. the glee version of jusin biebers "babY" Mostly because at the part where ludacris shouts "Luda!" the wheelchair kid yells "Artie!"
Strunks: and 3. peacock by katy perry because i listen to it after i drink muscle milk and I fantasize about the aggressive blowjobs i would like to give
“the things i would do to tosh.0 are so filthy
and depraved
that they should...”
– strunks has a crush
“i have a hymee alberto foursquare account
and i want to use it to check into...”
– strunks ponders
the scene: a hotel room
(strunks sits on sofa, reaches between cushions to look for change and comes up with a white pill)
strunks: why hellooooo there
juunks: i wouldnt eat that, are you just gonna...
strunks: (swallows)
junks: ah of course
“the first time i took a 2 mg pill was the best day of my life”
– Punks <3 Xanax (too much?)
sooooo motherfucking legit →
“i think im about to become the mayor of kiss 108
also i just became a PopTarts...”
– 2 straightforward reasons why Strunks DHAB: foursquare abuse, and poptarts points…
“im 25, how is that i just realized how fuckin fun it is to take 3 sudafed when...”
– strunks
“no seriously its amazing, you have to play it
everytime you jam mr weiner into...”
– aaaand shes still goingggggg
“so wait..
is my playing ‘mr. weiner’ on my iphone for 3 hours the...”
– strunks’ darling sister
so bunk
strunks: brb, im reading an article called "How to pair grilled cheese with wine"
punks: why is that something you dont already know how to do
strunks: step 1 - make grilled cheese
step 2 - drink wine with it
strunks: oh ya, i do already know how to do this
“so im tellin this guy i don’t want to see him anymore
and hes like i dont...”
– strunks
“Do you think the guy who walked in the elevator as I was pulling up trouser...”
– asking for a friend?
“Is the reason I DHAB because I spent a full minute trying to remember if i was...”
– Punks
“I say Ben Folds renames his song to ‘Abortion Song’”
– Punks, infinite wisdom and humor
“i have single handedly whipped this office into a charlie sheen frenzy”
– strunks