February 2011
96 posts
“Just had to retrace my steps (from what i can remember) from the weekend to try...”
– is this why>?
“you call that a csw
a charlie sheen win
cuz its such a fail but at the same...”
Strunks: do you ever get the urge to tell taylor swift that she's not pretty
Punks: sometimes, just to be spiteful
“i would describe my outfit today as ‘stripper on her way to an interview,...”
– Punks, on office-appropriate clothing
man: what are your plans for tonight?
Punks: dipping things in ranch dressing. that's pretty much it.
“wanna get a restraining order on someone for April fools day?”
“i like to rub the mouthpiece on my flannel”
“how much do you think the ceo of Averta enjoyed the voicemail i just left him of...”
if by "own bathroom" and "no where else" you mean...
garyfuckingoak:
i’m sorry but the only place you go to poop in is your own bathroom.
no where else.
“Spotted: Hymee Alberto checking into a BU fraternity house downtown and leaving...”
“I wanna have a kid just so I can name him ‘nanners’”
– strunks
“I’m going to be puff daddy for christmas”
– strunks
“strunks: So my boss just informed me that me telling a client on the phone that...”
– the gospel according to chunks.
the word of the dhab
“I just checked into some random kids apartment, asked him whats for lunch and...”
– Hymee Alberto strikes again on 4square
“I have a foursquare account under the name ‘Hymee Alberto’ with a...”
– strunks has issues, no boyfriend
“2011: 2
Punks&Strunks: 0”
– The Official Tally
“I think you should be able to legally prosecute someone who throws a girl scout...”
“if you don’t red win, then you red fail”
“i will however 100% go on the record and say that i hope she shits herself when...”
– strunks, the well-wisher
“They wouldn’t play Bad Romance every single time we asked them to....”
– Punks, on why she will never return to a certain Boston club
“this stuff makes me have to shit faster than curry”
– Red Bull DHAB
“Mmmmmmmxanaxmmmmmm”
– The sound Punks makes every day around this time when her Xanax kicks in and she slides down in her office chair.
Today's menu special is...DHAB
P: i made a little bagel dish that was really good last night
C: what was it?
P: it's the same as before: bagel, butter, cream cheese, but on top of the cream cheese, i put a layer of syrup
Anonymous asked: I totally forgot I still on my period tonight, so when I started to hook up with a guy, I tried to pull out my tampon and hide it discretely in my pant leg. Smooth. Problem is, I didn't realize until wayyyy after I was done that I lost the tampon somewhere in his room. I tried to sneak back in and find it, but it was long gone by then. Is this why I dhab?
“Oh god I am listening to Kelly Clarkson at work.”
“and really, the only reason i want to see the 2nd one is to finish it off,...”
“My boyfriend is the biggest cockblock”
“DINTLMLD if…..
(do i need to live my life differently)
i just got a call...”
“If you say your mouth is too small to give a blowie, you don’t have a...”
“Drunk at a Clue theme party.
It was Professor Plum with the whiskey in the...”
“why give something more value than it acutally has, you know?”
– on the term “sex friend”
“Chapter 1
The Parachute Rule
the PR is that when you meet someone
you...”
– Strunks explains the Parachute Rule or How I’ve been to 6 sporting events in the best 3 weeks and paid for Nary a ticket
“and what happens when you take three fingers and move them in a 90 degree...”
– The sexiest thing Punks has said all day (it is 4:04 PM).
Mac gestures making me hot and bothered…
dhab in the news
punks: whered you read about that pizza cake recipe?
strunks: oh only on the most reputable news site that exists
strunks: fox news
strunks: natch
punks: oh natch
strunks: like id get my news anywhere else
punks: if other news options exist, it is unbeknownst to me
punks: a life
ya but i dont want a funeral
i mean
just go to cabbyshack
drinks are on my life insurance policy
“i have seen legit porn stars with smaller dicks than his
like
under the...”
“my pizza intake has taken a steep dive since annettes closed
i’m worried...”
– Punks, strugglin’
“our father
who art in heaven
i hath sinned against thy name
for i did youtube...”
– The Lord’s Prayer
“we’re out of toilet paper
fuck it im just gonna shower everytime i go to...”
omikase of rape
strunks: ok so
this day started doing underage sex to me around 9am when i got here
and
i thought it would be over right now
but its starting to look like the underage sex i received from it this morning was just the Amuse Bouche
“Thou shalt friend your ex fuck buddys mother”
– #theeleventhcommandment
“sooo i went to put my gyno appointment in my calendar
and my iphone...”
While watching Glee...
Strunks: imagine how many buttholes that canary has been up
Punks: imagine how many dicks have been up that canary's butthole...
In Which Punks & Strunks Ponder Their Musical...
Punks: we're actually kinda cute and not that bad
i'm still listening
except the part where i laugh like a man at the end
Strunks: ya that part is Scary
Punks: yeah....
do i sound like a man on a regular basis?
Strunks: umm....
Punks: ????
fyl?* (*fuck your life)
Strunks: ermmm
Punks: fylshuyd*? (*fuck your life so hard until you die)
Strunks: i'm going to GYP* (give you pedophilia)
Punks: no seriously i need to know
do i have a man voice?
Strunks: no you don't
Punks: are you sure
Strunks: yes
i'm sure
Punks: bc from that recording, it seems i do
Strunks: just at the end
which i'm not gonna lie is terrifying
Listen to this Punks & Strunks cover of Ray...
“It’s called ‘pasta sausage rape surprise’ because of how...”
– Don’t YOU want to eat with Punks & Strunks?
Strunks, uponst arriving home from the laundromat, sees Punks, stirring a pan of pasta sausage rape surprise with her pants undone. “Oh, don’t worry, I’ve already made myself at home,” says Punks.
“if i get there early ill just go rape a bakery”
– punks