October 2010
169 posts
“It takes me longer to clean my sex toys than it takes me to shower.”
“I’m watching an amine cartoon with a 5 and 9 year old on a Saturday...”
– Punks, watching G-rated anime for the first time.
“That’s the other thing I hate about balloons- sometimes I destroy them...”
– wwdihab?
“Carrying a bunch of shrink wrap out to a dumpster is the closest I’ll ever...”
– strunks
if it's over 21, i'm under-interested
strunks: on an unrelated note, I chilled with Ricky from middle school on the T this morning
strunks: haven't seen him since we were like 8
strunks: he kept mentioning how he has a girlfriend
strunks: i was like dude, it's technically legal for us to have sex, you are not my type
sad
marcy: got my jailbait on last night
ceecee: oh do tell
marcy: oh there's no story. just happened to see one outside the bar, carded him to verify his under 21 status, face raped him and walked away
marcy: i had time cuz junks was tying her shoe so i was like why not
“I got my jailbait on last night”
– a win but a fail
“After wishing for a BLT for days, the BLT fairy finally came through today and...”
– Punks. Typical.
“In two days I’ve managed to complain a lot about a mysterious arm injury I...”
– Punks, running out of options…
“Me and Billy just walked by your doppelganger….shes this creepy junkie who...”
– Jake, in a text to Strunks. When your doppelganger is a junkie, you DHAB
“I don’t like balloons. I can’t handle the responsibility.”
jersey shore
m: whats that guys name again? with the abs?
m: the nefarious scenario?
j: the situation but yours is WAY better
wait ...
Robby: so whats your next costume going to be?
Strunks: huh?
Robby: well last week you dressed like a stewardess on thurs and then like a witch on friday
strunks: ......
strunks: rob that wasnt a costume, that was like... clothes that i own
Robby: shut the fuck up
Robby: you serious?
Robby: so youre telling me your pancho villa outfit today is NOT a costume then?
boss dhab?
strunks: get here so we can go spend Jenner's sweet sweet cash
strunks: also i have a box u need to take care of
strunks: THATS WHAT SHE SAID
strunks: BA BOOM CHEESH
jonathan: you're fired
pb& j, dhab style
strunks: this is a P and B conversation, so you should just J yourself out of it
bunks: i'm sorry but thats not how that saying goes
difficult
m: i'm going to have to try reallllly hard to not get wasted
p: i dont think thats something that should be as hard as it is for you
“I call it the “BEER VOLCANO”- if I’m in the bathroom at a bar...”
– strunks. making people take rape unnecessarily since 1986
overheard at a restaurant
sister: see that couple over there? ugh i wish i had a boyfriend and we could get something and eat off the same plate like theyre doing
strunks: oh dude thats the WORST part of having a boyfriend
strunks: they think they can just eat off your plate
strunks: and you have to sit there and take it
strunks: im always sitting there, screaming inside my head FUCK YOU I WANTED THAT MEATBALL
work dhab
chex: win or fail-i was riding bike to work and i'm eyeing each branch and rock and calculating at what angle i would need to hit them in order to be thrown violently from my bike and break an arm so i dont have to go to work
m: oh thats a fucking win
chex: ya. fail for nancing* tho
*nancing= to wimp out, be a pussy, not commit to an on-purpose accident
GET IN MAH BELLAY →
“(616): Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done...”
– (credit to TFLN)
i would like
camel0t:
a boyfriend.
sex would be nice, too.
“Star light star bright, will someone bring me a BLT tonight?”
– Punks.
Waffsicle? Yes please! →
1 tag
I have never laughed so much! This is so funny! ...
Thank you, very much appreciated.
Ask us, and we just might tell you something useful.
“Elmer Fudd”
– my celebrity doppelganger, according to my mom. -strunks
text dhab
m: eating
m: oh sorry i thought you asked what i was doing
“in my room talking on my cheeseburger phone”
– sunday dhab
WWDIHAB meets WWDIHAG = lose-lose situation
Meaney: i was thinking about this 'why i don't have a boyfriend' thing. i realized there are two things that men really like. prohibition and long skirts. sooo... have you tried that. the 1920's looks is really hot right now
Punks: can i quote you on that? haha
and i'm not sure if you're being serious or not.....
Meaney: attribute it to my alter ego. tom collins
i'm not
men like tiny clothes, drunk women, and no talking
because we are horrible
how goes it?
WatchWait, Why Don’t I Have a Boyfriend: The Movie
This movie is a couple minutes long, not much to look at aside from a couple brief viewings of the top of my face (smudgy end of the night makeup, of course). If that weren’t DHAB enough, I don’t remember taking this video at all. That’s what happens when you are 25 playing beer pong in a basement with a bunch of 20 year olds,...
1 tag
formspring.me
Ask us, and we just might tell you something useful. http://formspring.me/wwdihab
“You’d think I was the fat kid at the party, I was drunkenly begging for...”
– Punks, weighing in at a cool 109 pounds. FAIL.
wait ...
c: so youre telling me thats your idea of a chaser
c: ....
c: . a flask full of liquor that has a nip rubber banded to it
1 tag
I was behind u at fenway 3 weeks ago and the guard...
omg that guy was a dick! we were just tryin to get our drink on! facists.
Ask us, and we just might tell you something useful.
“Some fucking degenerate stole all the beer from the fridge at work, finally...”
– strunks
in dhab we trust
dear lord
give us this day our daily jailbait
and forgive my trespasses against them
lead me towards their high schools and skate parks
and deliver them into my jeep grand cherokee
amen.
“I’m gonna get drunk tonight and harass Obama on Twitter”
– #dhab
“ok there is a freshly dead possum outside at work and i literally literally...”
– strunks.
1 tag
I thought fondly of you two last night as I was...
What stopped you???
Ask us, and we just might tell you something useful.
1 tag
oh i agree. I'd rather have my head split open...
WIN
Ask us, and we just might tell you something useful.
“when I see a dude wearing a helmet while biking or skiing or somethin I’m...”
“The cute guy at the office just overheard me telling Joanna that I hope his...”
– Junks. WIN. Because if you CAN’T say no, it ain’t rape friend