December 2009
75 posts
PBS, this time the one from your childhood
toysruskid: oh and there’s pbs kids which plays arthur reruns but NOT wishbone reruns so i’m pissed
lalallama: haha heart the arthur
toysruskid: no way d.w. is a bitch
lalallama: im pretty sure i watched that show until way past the appropriate age, haha she is
toysruskid: i did too
lalallama: muffy is the real bitch
toysruskid: omg whore. but come on. wishbone!
...
“I wouldn’t really be into the kind of guy who would give me a glass...”
– P.D. Punks
“The only thing I wanted to get you for Christmas that I didn’t was a...”
PBS (not the one from your childhood)
butterballkid: imma bout to brew more poo tea want some
takeittoilet: hahahahaha im tempted but no thanks
butterballkid: imma brew some poo tea
and then imma brew some poo
and then imma make a poo brew stew in the toilet
takeittoilet: hahahahahahahahahahahaha LOLz
im gonna go put a stew in there now
get the stew started
SAPBS if you know what i mean
butterballkid: start a poo brew stew perhaps?
takeittoilet: YESSSS
...........
...........
THREE MINUTES LATER:
takeittoilet: i started it
you'll need to add a few more ingredients when you get in there
dhab?
butterballkid: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
im loling a little too hard
thank god no one is in here
ya, we brew good poo strew
takeittoilet: hahahahahahaha
butterballkid: did you strew the poo brew stew?
takeittoilet: just enough, yes
you know what they say, a watched poo brew stew never boils
butterballkid: it'd take a crew to remove the poo brew stew that u strew inside the toilet
HAHAHAHAHA
takeittoilet: too many chefs spoil the stew?
butterballkid: HAHAHAHAHA
stop
can't breathe
takeittoilet: hmm whats something clever we can work poo brew stew into?
butterballkid: how about our fav show from the early 90s
Punky Brewstew?
takeittoilet: hahahaha
butterballkid: PBS?
brew me up a stew (of your poo)
takeittoilet: break me off a piece of that poo brew stew?
butterballkid: OMG YES
Why WWDIHAB watches PBS* (poo brew stew*)
colonicsantasleigh: imma brew a some poo tea
colonicsantasleigh: and then imma brew some poo
colonicsantasleigh: and them imma make a poo brew toilet stew
WWDIHAB goes to the liquor store....
me: i think that guy at the liquor store liked me
my friend: ya, no i think he was more concerned about the amount of alcohol you drink
“Last night MP and I were boning, and he started to go slowly. He started talking...”
– -P.D. Punks.
This is why. This is DEFINITELY why.
“At a stop light today, I was finishing my bagel, and then I noticed there was a...”
– P.D. Punks, on the time when a trucker was better looking than she was.
“sometimes i feel like a ninja who’s job it is to sneak around this office...”
– oh for sure whyIDHAB
yes this is why
gonorrheain60seconds: r u sitting down
headcheeseslamdunk: why
gonorrheain60seconds: because there are rice cakes in the house
"The Beautiful Bowel Movement" [by John Updike]
Though most of them aren’t much to write about—
mere squibs and nubs, like half-smoked pale cigars, the tint and stink recalling Tuesday’s meal, the texture loose and soon dissolved—this one, struck off in solitude one afternoon (that prairie stretch before the late light fails) with no distinct sensation, sweet or pained, of special inspiration or release, was yet a masterpiece: a...
“Do they have Nut Salve here?”
– K.W. Punks at the Burger King drive-thru order window.
Text from my dad....why i dont have bf for sure
Dad: I suggest you seriously work on getting to the point where you know what you think you are going to do ( Grad School, work, nunnery, car detailling ( specializing on vomit removal), etc.)
“i said that to him, i was like do you see how hot i am? you gotta PAY to tap...”
– K.W. Strunks, is she starting to get the hang of it? Maybe. Maybe not. Will she had a boyfriend in 2010? Stay tuned….
“do you want to take that off, it has vomit all over it”
– a guy at the xmas party i was at this weekend to me. fml/wwdihab
“I want to hump the leg of a buffalo chicken pizza so bad right now”
– my sister, and no, she doesnt have a boyfriend
“I called my doctor for a new prescription and I thought I was on hold and I...”
– my mom, and FOR SURE one of the MAIN reasons WIDAB
wwdihab? oh yeah now i remember...
puddingpussy: im in the wont have sex even with the lights off phase
puddingpussy: but i cant stop eating
grundlemumbler: oh. i wont have sex period
“I bought chocolate mac nuts for Tim’s brother and his girlfriend, and for...”
– -YUP
“I dry heave when i think about Jon even attempting to get his weiner past the...”
– oh, for sure widhab
“Thank you, readers and pals of WWDIHAB, we heart you, almost as much as we heart...”
“My stomach is raping me right now, but not in a TSR* kind of way, just in an FML...”
– -Dawn on wsdhab
*TSR=toilet shit rape
We should just change the name of this blog to...
[2:56:55 PM] poosclues: speaking of flushing tho [2:57:03 PM] poosclues: i am legit about to shit myself [2:57:03 PM] poosclues: like [2:57:10 PM] poosclues: i’m prairie dogging over here [2:57:15 PM] poosclues: if you will [2:57:51 PM] poosclues: i am getting raped by poo backlog [2:58:01 PM] poosclues: poo is a’ queuein’ [2:58:14 PM] poosclues: my intestines are route 128...
ummmmm.......???
[11:29:28 AM] wizardsleeve: okeedokee im gonna poo again, then shower, then clean the bacon grease off my stove and toilet from last nights dinner
hmmm.....
doyouwantapieceofMEAT: he said he's not interested- he said its cool that u drink like a dude and fuck like a whore but hes just not interested and dont call him
kingkongfaceplant: so youre telling me theres a chance...?
“I’m so effing fat. But am I going to go for a run? Nope. I’m gonna...”
– yup.
“Do you think it’s normal that the background on my phone is a piece of...”
– wwdihab?
Voicemails I received from my ex-girlfriend last...
sharingtime:
8:00 PM - “Lee, where are you? Call me. I know we haven’t spoken since I dumped you, but I have something I need to tell you. All aboard the needy express! Let’s talk.
8:22 PM - “I’m not needy. That was a joke. But I do think you should call me.”
8:45 PM - “Ok, I don’t really have anything to discuss. I just wanted an ego boost where you tell me how much you miss me and I tell...
my sister's grocery list 12/14/09
“sugar, rasins, chocolate chips, sugar (granulated, brown and confectioners), peanut butter (crunchy and smooth), cream cheese, cool whip, box of devils food cake mix, oats, butter, shortening, and a gun with 2 bullets for after.”
Your taste in music is why you don't have a...
My art professor let a student put their iPod on for today’s class. The choice: Nickelback. Fuck her life. She FOR SURE dhab.
“I don’t understand, I don’t think he likes me. He called last night...”
– K.W. Strunks doesn’t get why she DHAB
“[1:38:59 PM] canoodlepoodle: throw some molar in there”
– advice on how to give a bj from my friend and incidentally, another great reason why
A CLASSIC TWP
sooo..i’m farting and then shitting and then farting. It’s kind of a nice sequence actually. It only MOSTLY sounds like an elephant seal getting raped by a tractor
is this why
meatstickfestival: i can def feel poo queuing up right now
meatstickfestival: SWEET BRB
meatstickfestival: TWP
yeah.....
donutpunchbowl: think our milk is sour
donutpunchbowl: that makes you shit your pants right?
[12: 53:15 PM]donutpunchbowl: prob not for me
donutpunchbowl: its gonna act like cheese
donutpunchbowl: a little plug
hmmm....
withacorncobpoop: i didnt poop yesterday
withacorncobpoop: sex actually hurt cause there was too much poop in the way
“I just saw a “crazy” food contest with a kiddie pool filled with...”
– -Cheksy. Yup.
“While at this guy’s house this weekend, me and Emma found a bag of...”
– text received from my friend early sunday morning. can you guess whether or not they have boyfriends? cuz i can
hmmm...definitely some wwdihab potential
humpbackdumstadiva: if i didnt already have a boyfriend, i DEFINITELY would not have a boyfriend
“Of course I didnt poop today so now I’ve gotta go home and Hoover...”
– wwdihab’s best friend, Cheksy, on why