November 2009
66 posts
“at one point during sex with him i made myself cry because it was so bad and i...”
– WWDIHAB’s dear friend Cameron wonders, why?
“i got real paid today and i’m spending it all on rent and broken dreams...”
– Cameron, on why pay day is so exciting
“You would have had SERIOUS poo envy if you saw what I just made”
– text from my coworker after her bathroom break…..do you think THIS could be why?
“It’s Thanksgiving and I have a bag full of throw up around my wrist”
– my friend kel. is this why?
“Tomorrow morning I am going to sit on my floor, skype you, and rape my colon...”
– text from my friend
Ok, so you know those gross sex moves that guys...
The Steak Dinner: stab the guy’s boner with a fork
The Fly Ball: when you’re giving the guy a bj and then you punch his nuts straight from the front so they “fly” out the back
The Prom Updo: giving the guy a bj and then you yank his pubes up wicked hard
The Strawberry Milkshake: stab a straw up his dick
Clown Face: making him go down on you when you’re on your...
is it possible that THIS is why
diahrealworldcancun: have you poo'd since we last spoke yest?
youwantmetoputthatwhere: omg
youwantmetoputthatwhere: i dumped so hard in the toilet this morning.
youwantmetoputthatwhere: so.hard.
“Last night I raped the Wendy’s bathroom so bad that I had to run out of...”
– my friend on why
“Mozzarella sticks.”
– the text i receive from my sister every day at 12:00 p.m. on the nose. is this why she doesnt have a boyfriend
“Oh my god, you are gonna be so jealous of me…I ate a bunch of splenda and...”
– voicemail from my sister
email from my friend ann..WWDsheHAB?
F M L
it wants to eat you. it tried to eat kitty.
it did eat fancy mixed nuts. beer. wine from the bottle. turkey. cereal. cookies. ice cream. its 5 oclock.
why.......
neversobersunday: dude
neversobersunday: dont be jealous but
neversobersunday: i have a huge poo brewing
neversobersunday: and imma let it out in like five minutes
redwinetotheface247: i hope you are aware that the system admin guy just read that
“It’s Friday night at 8 pm and I’m sitting at home in my bed...”
– K.W. Strunks at one of her finest hours
is this why?
captainshizer: thank god you like shitting and eating so much
pupchute15: yes
pupchute15: thank god for that
the definition of why
[11/20/2009 3: 32:52 PM] fecALgore: i was foraging in my moms medicine cabinet last nite
[11/20/2009 3: 32:52 PM] fecALgore: but then i remembered that we have those kids gummys that legit make you diahrea your own life out
[11/20/2009 3: 32:52 PM] fecALgore:JACKPOT
“I can’t sleep cuz I’m too fat”
– my friend Cheksy. It’s probably why.
“So I met this hot guy at the bar last night when I was stupid loaded and brought...”
– -my friend Faith, pondering the complexities of WWDIHAB
tell me if this is why
PIStaker: did u see how fast that poop was
Goneahreader: thats awesome
Goneahreader: you are way fast, its unbelieveable
Goneahreader: its like you are pissing
“Your dog just tried to MO* me
*MO=make out”
– my drunk friend to me when i get back in the car after pumping gas
Sweater Hurl....Is this why?
proseforhoes: do u see my sweater in there
proseforhoes: do you
proseforhoes: do you see it
proseforhoes: do you see my sweater
proseforhoes: when you see it,
proseforhoes: go over to it
proseforhoes: go
proseforhoes: do it
proseforhoes: and smell it
proseforhoes: i bet it will make u hurl
proseforhoes: i bet
edwardscissordicks: no thanks
edwardscissordicks: i see it
proseforhoes: do it
edwardscissordicks: but im for sure not smelling it
proseforhoes: its not optional
edwardscissordicks: FYL
proseforhoes: u WILL smell my sweater
edwardscissordicks: i for sure wont
proseforhoes: i dont care if i have to hold u down and force it on your nose
edwardscissordicks: ok ok, bring it in
edwardscissordicks: ill do it now
“TWPTMRFST*
*texting while pooping to make room for steak rape”
– text message received from my friend while she is in the bathroom at work before lunch
is this why
onetwothreesome: omg i WISH i had low alcohol tolerance
onetwothreesome: u know how much LESS money i would spend
onetwothreesome: as it is
onetwothreesome: whenever i go out
onetwothreesome: i drink like 14 nips to the favce
onetwothreesome: so i only have to have 3 drinks to get loaded
onetwothreesome: pathetic
onetwothreesome: i hate my liver
onetwothreesome: it is like a Shamwow
yeah this is why
keylimepieTTF: i miss u
keylimepieTTF: what r u doing
murderboner445: teaching myself to crochet
murderboner445: and watching my favorite bbc show about fat ppl
murderboner445: with gillian mckeith and they berate the fat people
murderboner445: its amazing
murderboner445: she makes them poop into tupperware then analyzes it with them
keylimepieTTF: OMG
keylimepieTTF: that is like ur dream job
Found a DHAB card? Tell us about it!
Have you been pooping recently and found a WWDIHAB card wedged beneath the seat? Waiting tables and found one attached to your bill? Noticed any WWDIHAB cards on bulletin boards or scattered along bars? Inserted into the card slots in ATMs? Lingering in dark alleys? Eyeing you creepily from across the room while stroking the front of it’s pants?
Here’s your opportunity! Find one of our WWDIHAB...
or is this why....
thesneetches: nice
thesneetches: im going to shit out sour patch kids in a few minutes
thesneetches: its going to ROCK
gingerhater9: yeah, you go drop those kids off at the pool
gingerhater9: the poop pool
is this why?
sploogemonsta: u r a poo fail today
sploogemonsta: i have not seen u poo once
sploogemonsta: WTF
sploogemonsta: no tsr* (*toilet shit rape) today!?
sploogemonsta: not cool
sploogemonsta: not cool
solveitwith beer: haha oh its brewing righ tnow
solveitwith beer: : i farted a few minutes ago
solveitwith beer: : it came out louder than expecteds
solveitwith beer: i looked at ccww right after to make sure he didnt hear
solveitwith beer: : i dont think he did
solveitwith beer: : but who knows
solveitwith beer: : dhab?
Important Philosophical Discussion?....DHAB....?
watermycactus: but to be fair, cheetos are messy and then you have cheeto hands for the rest of the day. i understand the squeamishness
tumblrrrgrrrrl: i heart the cheetos
watermycactus: i heart them until i look at my hands. and then i wipe them on my jeans because jeans are just a kind of hankerchief/napkin that you can wear on your legs. and then my jeans have orange streaks. same thing with doritos fuck em all bbq chips own everything
tumblrrrgrrrrl: salt and vinegar
watermycactus: yes you are correct
tumblrrrgrrrrl: thank you i like to lick my fingers when im done with my cheetes then wipe them on my jeans. MLIA?
watermycactus: but you still get orange streaks on your jeans there's no way around it unless you have wetnaps
tumblrrrgrrrrl: not if you lick your fingers good enough
watermycactus: okay well i'm not going to sit there and give my fingers each thorough blowjobs at my desk that's the sort of thing i do on my own time by myself jeez tmi and mlia
tumblrrrgrrrrl: i suppose you have a point
watermycactus: by the way i had a huge beef sandwich for lunch with like a pound of mayo because i love mayo more than any other condiment
tumblrrrgrrrrl: really? i dont heart the mayo
watermycactus: i love the mayo and the ketchup
tumblrrrgrrrrl: BUTive been thinking of investing in some, bc i do heart the mayo with additives
like herbs, and franks red hot
watermycactus: yeah mayo is the most versatile condiment you can have
tumblrrrgrrrrl: ok, i will dip my toes into the water and let you know how it comes out
RWTTFWLA=BI?* (Is this why we DHAB???)
haveredwinewilltravel: ugh i have a sad DHAB story about wine and why i should not live alone
loozamango: oh red wine, you're so easy idk how i lived without it for so long
haveredwinewilltravel: seriously dude and red wine is good for your heart
loozamango: bonus!
so what is your story about why you shouldn't live alone? too much red wine to the face? blackout city?
haveredwinewilltravel: oh christ so when i start drinking wine, i don't really know how to stop.
loozamango: YUP
haveredwinewilltravel: i'm alone in my apt and i polish off two bottles in like, less than 3 hours. which is terrible. i ate an entire frozen pizza
loozamango: well thats better than eating nothing and drinking two bottles
haveredwinewilltravel: and even though i quit smoking...and even though i have a perfectly ok pack of marlboro lights in the drawer in case of emergencies...I decide that i need a pack of marlboro 27s
loozamango: btw, what wine do u usually get? im in need of suggestions. oh those 27s
haveredwinewilltravel: i get whatever is cheap as fuck and has a pretty label
loozamango: thats pretty much my strategy too. ok so what happens next
haveredwinewilltravel: well since i can't drive anywhere to get cigs, i decide that i need to walk there. luckily there is a 7-11 2 miles away from my apartment. it's 2am by the way. i get on my boots, but don't put on socks
loozamango: oh lord
haveredwinewilltravel: and i walk to 7-11. by the time i'm there, i get up to the counter and mumble something. and then i black out. i have no fucking clue what happened next
loozamango: oh no!
haveredwinewilltravel: when i come out of blackout, i am trudging through a ditch full of water and i keep falling down but i have a lit cigarette and it keeps going out so i'm like, stuck in shrubbery in a swampy ditch on the side of the road trying to light my damn cigarette i finally get back on the road and a car full of guys goes "hey, girl with the smeke!" and i'm all "what?" and keep walking. luckily they do not stop. i get back to my apartment completx..which has like 30 buildings that all look the same.
loozamango: smeke?
haveredwinewilltravel: smoke**
loozamango: oh ok
haveredwinewilltravel: and i can't find my building, so i stop a girl who is outside smoking a cigarette and lied and said that i was coming back from a party, but my friends ended dropping me off at the 7-11 and they escorted me back to my building then i blacked out again but when i woke up, my room was completely spotless and the dishes were done
loozamango: that's fantastic
haveredwinewilltravel: oh and i lost the cigarettes
loozamango: that might be the best blackout story i ever heard
haveredwinewilltravel: no it's fucking scary because i live alone
*red wine to the face while living alone = bad idea?
“RWTTFTSR*
*red wine to the face toilet shit rape”
– text message from my friend
perhaps?
jesuslovescheezwiz: im going to make out wit hhim right now so thatll show you
jesuslovescheezwiz : also , i have a huge poo brewing
jesuslovescheezwiz: poo brew
oh for sure this is why. for sure
butterholelovin: obv
i had 4 guavas with my coffee
and my body was like
eject
god i feel so good right now
pooping is my favorite part of the day
james and i made coffee this morning
which is our euphamisn for sex
and i pretty much prefer my morning giant shit
is this why
supersubi: i just raped our toilet with my feces.
supersubi: i stood there
supersubi: and flushed
supersubi: and was like
supersubi: take it
If you have an iPhone, would you date someome who... →
hmmm...is this why?
peeingtom: also, someone just farted in here
peeingtom: and it wasnt me
peeingtom: for once
